Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize