I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You are a genius and a whore.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
