He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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