Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize