haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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