one might say we're banned from that church
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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