Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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