That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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