On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
