Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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