No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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