If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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