been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
