3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
your thong is hanging out like whoa
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
