It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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