Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
