What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
