but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
