The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
