when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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