It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Someone came in the potted fern
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize