she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
