omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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