either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize