we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
