i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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