I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
