I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
