What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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