Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
