im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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