You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I want a musical about memes.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
