Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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