i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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