He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
