Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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