Whod you bang
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
