Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Houston, we have a squirter
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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