Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize