took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
