Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
