I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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