I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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