i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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