Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
