She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just had sex bonerless
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
