I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
