i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
