Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
