Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
