Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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