Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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