you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
