i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
