Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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