I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Randomize
