Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
